I have had a pre-op and an MRI scan to check on the progress of the tumour, but have not heard back on that. I can tell the radiotherapy has reduced the size of the tumour just by the feel of my leg. The skin has also repaired itself nicely and I am nearly back to 100%. Just in time to have it sliced open.
I have my operation next Wednesday to remove the cancer and I have 100% confidence in Mr Yin to work his miracle.
I must admit though, I am scared. The gap between the RT and the operation feels like a lifetime, so much so, that I have completely focussed my attentions elsewhere. Its hard not to with the arrival of Arlo Thomas Lynch into the family. He is such a placid and quiet little boy, unlike his big brother Alfie.
I love our little family so much, there are so many positives to focus on that I have put aside the cancer subject for a while. As I am typing this though, and realising that the operation is only a few days away I am getting scared. Scared of what though? I am not scared of the operation, I am scared of how I will be afterwards. I really hope that they will remove the tumour without having to remove to much of "me" with it.
Emma and I have also put the little house we live in up for sale. We need a bigger place, especially with little baby Arlo arriving. Moving house is the most stressful thing we do right? Nah.....I do not feel one bit stressed about anything in my life......cancer......selling a house.....no. I feel so much at peace with myself recently, its quite liberating. I do miss work though, I miss making a difference, I miss bringing money in, I miss feeling useful.
Arlo, Alfie, Emma, the most beautiful things in my life will see me though this, and I appreciate every minute I have with them.......xxx
